Surviving Life

I started this blog when my guy went long haul trucking. I thought this would be a good venue for him to see what I'm up to, what I'm thinking, another source for us to stay connected. An old fashioned twitter of sorts, huh? lol

Well, as the years roll by, we seem to never see each other. Life's struggles are just as bumpy when you're not in the presence of your significant other on a daily basis. And maybe, life is even harder to deal with when you only have 24 to 48 hours to share in person with you man.

I find that I skip over all the real issues - bills, chores, things that just need to be done - and get to the fun in life, leaving the "to do" lists undone when he's home. Then, when he leaves, the list of "to do's" are still there, and I feel overwhelmed that nothing ever gets done unless I do them. And to be honest, some of the things, I just cannot physically do them. I feel bad for even mentioning this, I feel guilty even, knowing he just cannot be home. He has to work.

Then I remember, sure, he's not home every night, but he is home two or three days in a row before leaving again. Not as often, but sometimes he's home four to five days at a time. Many times, he's home during the week while I'm at work. So, in my mind, he's got time to do some of these "to do" things.

Then I think about how he's been gone on the road, and just sitting at home doing nothing, seems perfectly okay. I understand.

But then, I think about how darn tired I am after working 10 hour shifts with an hour and half lunch in the middle... makes for 12 hour days! I don't want to do any work when I get home either. But, come my days off, the dishes and laundry and mopping and cleaning, etc.... all needs to be done!

Don't get me wrong, I love my man, I love having fun with him.

Since I told him the other day, I want a husband, I have been thinking. Thinking long and hard about "us." What is "us?" Who are we? What are we doing? Gosh, I just turned 49 this year, he's in his 50's. I realize now, I want more from our relationship, and it's just not gonna happen.

It's just never easy.

I have a funny story... I get wound up and scared, pretty easily.

The other night, I'm sitting here, watching t.v. alone when I thought I heard someone at the front door. The door is dead bolted locked. Then, I heard a twist of the handle, a jiggle back and forth. Hmm... some one's out there and they seem to want in. I even thought I saw a shadow through the stained glass window next to the door! All of a sudden, I hear the weirdest sound, "zzz-zzzzz-zzz-zzzzzzz!" OMGosh! Some one's actually trying to drill their way into the house! OMG!!! It was about the time I thought my heart was going to LEAP out of my chest when a VHS tape popped out of the VCR!!! :::::::::try to breathe::::::::: (Auto eject!)

One of my dogs had probably stepped on the remote control (we have remotes all over the couch), turning the VCR on and there was a tape in the deck. The tape played, unbeknowned to me, all the way through, and when it reached the end of the tape, it automatically re-wound! (click, click, zzzzz-zzz-zzzzzzz-zzzzzzzzzzz...) OMGosh!!! I could have just died!!! LOL

I really do hate being alone!

It's a GIRL!!!

20 Weeks

The kids went in for their ultrasound on Monday. The baby is perfect, growing exactly how it's supposed to, and........... it's a GIRL!!!

After work I stopped by to see the kids and they weren't home. They were at Baby's R Us! lol The kids live with her parents now, and her parents were home. The ultrasound photos were laying on the dinner table so I took a peek... perfect little profile shot, arms and legs, and did I mention, two little feet with toes!!!? And, of course, the kids wanted to know the gender, and there it was, our little girl.

Can't tell I'm a bit excited, can you? ;)

Baby Update

I'm still so very excited! Maybe, I'm just in disbelief. I really cannot believe it's my turn to be a Gramma! All my friends have grandchildren and talk about the joys of grandmother-hood, all the time.

Monday, the kids went in for their first ultrasound. It had been rescheduled from the week before due to some miscommunication between the insurance and doctor's office.

First of all, I want to say, my daughter in law, TheMom, is doing great, she's feeling great. My son, TheDad, is ecstatic! He couldn't wipe the smile off his face if he tried. LOL So cute.

So back to the first ultrasound. Their visit went well. TheMom was telling me, everytime she or TheDad would say anything, the baby would bounce around, arms and legs everywhere. TheMom got to giggling so much, the tech was having a hard time getting a freezed frame shot of the baby. Awww!

The baby measured 12 weeks. Gosh. We have a long way to go. They have a long way to go! The due date is September 14. Perfect! Now, we just pray all continues to go well and no problems arise. In six weeks, they go in for another ultrasound. (I don't remember ultrasounds being so available! lol) The kids want to know the sex of the baby, so at this next ultrasound, they will find out if we're having a boy or a girl.

My son wants a boy. No hesistation or questions about it, a boy is what he wants. TheMom doesn't care, boy or girl, she's just happy to be having a baby.

Photo snagged from Free Photoshare

Then There Were Eight... (Yorkies)

This is Simon.

Simon was first born, and latched onto Lucy with vigor. I would have never guessed that he would soon have such a struggle to survive. By day three, Simon was lifeless and losing weight. He was having trouble staying latched on, poor little guy. I started bottle feeding Simon, every two hours, immediately. After each feeding, I would put him with Lucy and tried to get him to nurse. I would try this too, before the bottle feedings, thinking he would be hungry enough to stay latched on. Nope. Seemed he had a problem suckling. Bottle feedings became the norm.

In his third week, I noticed a slight doming to his head. I was immediately reminded of Peanut. Simon had a lot of soft tissue on the top of his head. I brought him to the Vet immediately. Sure enough, my suspicions were right on. Simon was developing water on the brain, just like Peanut. I caught it early and Simon was put on prednisone, a steriod, to help reduce the swelling of his brain.

The meds worked! The swelling and soft tissue slowly disappeared. Simon never got as bad as Peanut had. Today, Simon is perfect! Healthy as the rest of the dogs. He's gonna be a tiny one, and he likes to bite. I call him my Tiny Biter, after Elton John's song, Tiny Dancer. LOL

Breaking News!

I'm going to be a GRAMMA!!! OMGosh! I can't believe it!

My son and daughter-in-law are having a baby!

My first grandchild!

Photo snagged from free photo site.

I received this Yorkie graphic message from my guy's niece, wishing me a Happy Birthday today! I was surprised to hear from her! Actually, I have been surprised by a lot of folks today...

At my work, in my department, we do this thing where if it's your birthday month, you are in charge of the potluck/luncheon. I've been at my current job for nearly seven years now and this tradition has become fun. When you're in charge of the monthly lunch celebration, you get to bring what you enjoy most.

Today was different only by the fact I have been at my employment there for quite some time now, and folks have started to request a particular dish I've made before. So last night, I threw together my Pozole (Mexican Stew) and let it simmer over night.

This morning, trying to get everything together, I was running late. When I arrived at work, my receptionist shouts, "Goooood morning!"

I thought it odd, her shouting so early in the morning, but I was carrying a very heavy pot of my stew and was darting for my office where I could set it down, and didn't give her loud welcoming another thought. As I stepped inside the door of my office, I caught a glimpse of another one of my employees! She was jumping down from the top of my desk! LOL The girls were thankful I had been late this morning, and did a great job decorating my little part of the office.

I received phone calls, emails and text messages throughout the day from friends and family. My guy sent me a singing text, wishing me a happy day. Later, I received a personal voicemail on my work line where he sang his birthday wishes to me. ;)

At lunch, the whole facility joined me for a cup or two of soup. Mmm! So good on a freezing cold day! Everyone visited and had a good time. My boss had two helpings! He told me too, they had a card for me, but that the last known person to have the card was not present. He would track it down and assured me he'd get it to me.

As you know, I raise Yorkies, and no matter how special the day is, I have to run home at lunch time to let the dogs out. The surprise was when I got back to work. I found a couple of cards and a present left on my desk! Wow! Decorations, cards, gifts, emails... Wow! They have never treated me so well before!

So the facility card was full of warm wishes for my birthday and a gift card to a local scrapbook store! Cool! The second card was from my personal staff. These girls are just so sweet! They got me a blouse and a gift card to a nice clothing store. Wow! I was almost overwhelmed.

Then, if that wasn't enough, these same girls ran to the Cheesecake Factory and got me a slice of cheesecake, leaving on my desk when I went to my afternoon meeting. Wow. I split the cheesecake with them, it was so rich, just a bite or two was plenty for me.

Another co-worker and close friend, took me to dinner after work. Boy! I had a wonderful birthday this year, and it's not quite over... my guy comes home tomorrow night after a week and a half run from Idaho to California to Utah to Arizona to California to Utah and back to Idaho.

And, it all started last Sunday when my parents took me to dinner because my birthday fell on a Wednesday this year and I work long, long hours. Sunday just made sense, a better time to relax and enjoy each other's company without rushing. My son and his wife joined us. We had a good time.

Anyway, I just had to share that I've had a great day. ;)

They Don't Get Much Cuter Than This...

Introducing, Simon and Arty (Garfunkel)...


Simon was so small, he reminded me of the Alvin and the Chipmunks! Hence, the name Simon. Isn't he cute?


Arty is full of personality, never a dull moment with him. He's bright eyed and bushy tailed, and loves to play.

Born on October 19th, the boys are just seven weeks old. Simon will be staying with us a bit longer than I usually keep puppies because he is so small. Arty will be ready to go at eight weeks, but I plan on holding him for his forever family until Christmas.

Beautiful Fall Day

It was colder today than it's been all week but, seasonalably warmer than normal. That didn't matter, I was freezing! It's about 7:30 p.m. and still 61 degrees out. That's pretty darn warm for November 1st. Still, I'm cold to the bone.

I'm watching my Boise State Univ Broncos beat New Mexico State Univ. It's a blitz, top of the 4th quarter and the score is 49 to 0, Broncos. I haven't blogged about my Broncos in a couple of years, but if you follow college football, the BSU Broncos are definitely a team to watch!

I was out in the yard this afternoon, admiring the fall colors of the neighborhood. My furr babies just love when I'm out in the yard with them. I grabbed my camera and snapped away...

Molly & Peanut, then Lucy, and Peanut again...

They're Married!

October 23, 2008... I get a phone call from my son at 8:40 a.m., he's at the court house and wants me to be there in an hour!

Happy Kaos

Okay, recently, I've started many new posts and just haven't had the time to complete any of them. What's going on, you wonder?

For a couple of months now, I've been looking into having my carpet and linoleum ripped out and replaced with hardwood floors. Last week, it was a done deal. The new flooring arrived on Wednesday. The work men arrived on Friday.

By Sunday, I have brand new floors throughout! Well, we left the bedrooms in carpet. But it's almost like I have a new home at the same address. Not only did I have the floors replaced, I have painted - still painting - all the same rooms... kitchen, dining, living rooms and both hallways. I'll have to get some updated photos to post!

In the midst of all this construction, ripping out carpet and linoleum, my Lucy went into labor and delivered two pups! One was delivered here at home, the second, at the vets as Lucy's labor had stopped for hours. Both pups seem to be doing well until tonight. I noticed the littler of the two is not gaining any weight. They go in to see the doc tomorrow, and I started bottle feeding the tiny one. I hope he does okay and gets past this. Again, I need to get some pics.

I have planned time off work all week. After the past few weeks there, I'm due for a quiet week away from all the STUFF! Painting the interior of the house was not on the agenda, but I'm glad I'm doing it. It really looks like I've moved into a new house. I told my guy, it looks like a Manhattan apartment in here! All this hardwood and rugs. I know, I need to get pics!

And, the biggest news... my son is getting married! He and his gal are going to the court house tomorrow morning. I'm not exactly sure how that works, if they are just getting their license to wed, or if they will be wed. He said he'd call me to let me know.

This is my happy kaos. New floors, new puppies, new daughter! I know, I know... Pictures!!! I will see what I can do between being mother of the groom, bottle feeding a new pup, and painting the walls.

Stressed

Stress... Does it ever let up? Seems my life is always full of kaos. Suzy Orman would say, you've got to organize! Without organization, life is kaotic. I don't know, I'm cluttered but not disorganized.

Today, I had a surprise review by my Corp office, a telephone conference review. I think I've just said it, Corp office, the root of my stress. We are a hospital in a company that specializes in skilled nursing facilities (SNF's.) Actually, we are the only acute care facility in all of the company. There's over 200 SNF's, throughout the nation, and our little hospital in Boise, Idaho.

The mentality of the Corp folks appears to be hard to educate on how we do things slightly different from the rest. For example, we bill daily for our outpatient clinic and upon discharge for our inpatients. I believe SNF's still bill at month end.

SNF's patients may stay at their facilities for years, so billing is done monthly. Our inpatients have an average length of stay of 14 days, and billing is done after discharge. Medicare is the primary payer for 90% of my accounts, the rest of the accounts are Medicare HMO's, with a very small percentage of claims being regular insurance or private pay.

So, at the end of the month, when there's a glitch at Medicare, totally out of my control, and our money is not going to make to the bank to cover the claims we've billed before the middle of the month, my boss is asking why other facilities are not have the same problem.

Well, other facilities (in our company) are SNF's and they probably billed right after they do their month end close, so they normally would receive their Medicare money by the middle of the month. And we are billing every time we have a discharge, and try to bill all claims that have discharged by the middle of the month so we would still receive payment by the end of the same month. (Medicare pays in 14 days if a claim is submitted without errors.)

Anyway, I'm probably boring you with all this but I'm really burnt! I am expected to collect at least 103% of last month's revenue. Last month, I collected 108% and this is the thanks I get. It is so hard to collect some of this money, and I work as hard as I can to get as much collected as possible.

I have been in health care billing since 1984. Every time I try to get into something else, I always seem to fall back into this. Boy, the stress is really getting to me though, and I feel it, feel it deep inside, it's time to move on. I really feel the stress is getting the best of me.

It never fails, just when I feel like things are clicking together just right, I get slammed up side the head, figuratively speaking. I am sure most of this is just a communication mishap and once I am able to explain, things will be better. But then again, I was in a bad marriage for nearly 20 years before I finally saw the light.

Then, late tonight, my guy calls. He's had a huge disagreement with his boss and tells them he quits! OMGosh! This is kaos!!! No stability! Both of us cannot be having horrific days at the same time!

If you made it all the way through this post, thanks for listening. I'm just in a bad place at the moment and a good night's sleep will do wonders.