Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Starting To Feel Like Home...

Alerts! Sounds! All my old friends! What more could a online journaler ask for?

This place is great! I love the fun I'm having, getting back into the HTML mode. I like having more control, the say as to what is put on my blog. Yes! This feels good. I have to admit, I wasn't really sure I would like my new place in cyberspace, but I'm loving it here!

I've been transferring my AOL entries to my new home here. Someday, I plan to close my AOL account, and when I do, I want to be sure I have all my old entries safely placed here. Moving is always alot of work, but I'm worth the move.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Wishing Everyone A Very
Happy Thanksgiving!

Spoke Too Soon

All was going so well. The surgeon was excited about the damaged found and the repairs made. Recovery from surgery would be pretty much painless immediately after surgery as they administered a nerve block in his arm pit to block feeling to his whole arm. This should last anywhere from 12 to 24 hours, we were told.

My son hadn't eaten in 24 hours and was starving after surgery. He requested the Olive Garden, again! I went in and ordered takeout, soup and salad and bread sticks. We shared a lasagne serving. Dinner was yummy, my son was definitely coming out of the anesthesia.

About 11pm, my son informed me his finger was "starting to really hurt!" As advised by the surgeon and anesthesiologist, it was about time to start the pain meds sent home with us. By 11:45pm, the pain had increased to at least a 20 on a chart of 0 to 10!

I phoned the surgeon's service in hopes of getting a hold of him, or someone. I was assured someone would phone me back in a few minutes. The minutes went by, and by some more. Time was moving so slow.

By midnight, my son was totally dressed and dancing around the front door. He was in so much pain! I took him to the ER.

About a half hour after arriving at the ER, the surgeon's service called back to check if anyone had called me. I explained that I couldn't wait any longer and took my son to the ER, and no, no one had called me back. He apologized for the no response. I told him it was okay and it wasn't his fault no one called me back. ARGH!

At the ER, the physician on staff was concerned about giving another nerve block to my little guy's finger. He wasn't sure if giving him another block in the nerve would damage any of the repairs made to that nerve during the surgery earlier. They gave him more narcotics. The pain would go away, but came back within 30 minutes.

My son asked so many times if he could just spend the night and keep getting the meds in the IV, he felt so much better. But, the meds just didn't last long. He was afraid to go home.

At about 2:30am, the surgeon on call for our surgeon phoned the ER and let the doc there know it was okay to give another block to my little guy's finger. Whew! Within a minute of getting the block, my son was doing fine. Without the block, the pain just kept creeping back.

We were back home by 3am and he was fast asleep by 3:15am. I set the alarm for 5am, when I was to give him more pain meds. I was so exhausted I didn't even hear the alarm. I woke up to the neighbor's dog barking at about 7am. The good thing was, my little guy was sound to sleep. I had to wake him to give him his meds.

Today has gone so much better. I have been keeping him doped up. It's so hard to see your baby in such pain, even if he is 16 years old.

When my guy phoned this morning, I broke down. So much has happed this time while he's been out. He's heading home... He's been gone since October 25th. My mom was finishing up her radiation therapy. My gramma went through hell and back. And now, my little guy.

I've been told things happen in threes. I think I've met my quota! I'm knocking on wood and praying everything is now moving in an upward and better trend.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

It Went Well

I'm exhausted! I was up early today so I could get to the office and out again by about 1pm. Surgery was at 4:30pm. I needed to run home to pickup my son and then head back to Boise and get to the surgery center by 3pm.

It was nearly 2pm when I arrived home. My son was showered and ready to go. Poor guy, he was so nervous. To think they would have to rip him back open again to repair the damage to his finger, just scared him to death. It hurt bad enough the first time, to last the rest of his life.

My parents met me and my son at the surgery center. I was glad they were there for him, and for me. Seems we've all been through quite a bit this year. I can't wait for this year to be over and the new year to begin!

Anyway, back to my little guy...

He's doing really well. The surgeon was excited to let us know that the damage was to just the nerves, and the tendon was intact and untouched by the knife blazing through my son's finger. My little guy will not be able to return to his job for almost two weeks, he's not too happy about that. He loves his job and co-workers, and not to mention the money.

Thank you, everyone, for all your prayers and thoughts.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Surgery's Scheduled

Friday night, the ER referred us to a hand specialist. Of course, it was after midnight Friday, when we got home, and then the weekend. So, first thing this morning, I phoned the orthopedic surgeon to schedule an appointment for my son. The ER doc had briefed this hand specialist Friday night. They were waiting for our call, we got in at 2pm today.

I had been a bit worried and a little upset since I learned my son will most likely need surgery to repair the possible severed nerves in his finger. I was having a total momma moment... "Why don't they fix him up right then (Friday night) when he was already numbed up and wide open?" That's what they do on "ER" Thursday nights! I didn't want him to have to go through the pain of re-opening the wound to repair it.

I learned today, nerves and tendons, when cut like this, swell and fray immediately after an injury. When in this condition it's very possible to over do, or under do, the repair, while stitching them back together. Though, three to five days later, these severed parts of our bodies, shrink and tighten up to a more normal state and are easier to stitch up correctly. So, it was best we wait.

After testing range of movement and feeling, the doc today explained, my son most definitely has severed at least one nerve, maybe two, and possibly the tendon in his finger. Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow at 3pm. The doc said he'll know more when he gets in there. The doc also explained, right now my son has 0% range of movement. With the surgery, in case we thought we had a choice, he'll have 30 to 75% range of movement. He'll probably never have 100% again, in this left index finger.

My son is sleeping now. At the doc visit today, it was the first time he'd seen his wound since Friday when the accident happened. It was almost too much for him to look at it. He did manage to take a photo of his finger with his cell phone after the nurse unwrapped it and before the doc came in. My son's pretty nervous about the procedure tomorrow. I keep telling him to think past tomorrow, when he's all put back together and on the road to recovery. I'm praying for all to go well tomorrow!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Oh What A Night...

A cruise sounds wonderful about now!

Last night, I got home a little late, I had to speak with an employee and wanted to do this after most everyone else left. All was well; issues heard, misunderstandings understood, resolutional plans put in place. It's been a long week and I'm glad it's over.

I hadn't been home long when the phone rang... "Mrs M? This is your son's boss, he's had an accident here at work, and the paramedics want to speak with you..."

My heart stopped!

The paramedic, a very young gal with a very calming voice, continued to explain the accident, my son's condition, and where they planned on taking him. We agreed on which hospital ER they would take him to, and they were on their way.

She did a good job in getting my heart jump-started and running again as I was able to get the dogs to bed and drive to the hospital without freaking out. When I got in the car, I called my guy. He was enroute to Los Angeles via I-5 in central California, a long way from home.

As I made the major intersection, a mile and a half from the hospital still, I met up with and merged in behind the ambulance carrying my son. It was just after 7p and dark outside. The back of the ambulance was well lit. I could see an IV strung and swinging with every road bump. I started to worry. Only another mile to go.

At the hospital, the ambulance pulled into their specific parking area while I continued on to the ER parking. I hurried in and asked for his room. As I entered the patient care area, my son was just being rolled in.

He's my baby boy, he's hurting and he's scared.

I had to step back out of his room, for just a moment, to take a deep breath. I ask one of the paramedics what was going on, he didn't look like he had "just cut his finger!" She explained, my son was in shock. His body had totally locked down in a full body spasm, he couldn't move, he couldn't talk, his eyes were full of fear. I took another deep breath and went in to be with him.

After more than four hours and several stitches, we learned he will need to have surgery to reconstruct the nerve damage (severed nerves) in his left index figure. He has a cut, almost 2" long, from just above his first knuckle on the underside of his finger, to up and over his second knuckle. A clean slice, clear to the bone. We see the hand surgeon Monday.

He slept through the night last night. I thought I might have killed him, giving him two pain killers when we got home, about 12:30a. (The very same pain meds my Gramma was taking a few weeks ago, throwing her into her nightmare for a few weeks.) The meds sure knocked him out, he didn't wake up once. He needed the sleep.

At 8:30a, I checked to see if he was still breathing, and to give him another pain pill if he needed it. I had to wake him up, and yes, he was definitely ready for another pain pill. Back to sleep he went.

This evening, he's up and moving again. We had dinner, I thought food would be good for him, and he's been up watching tv and playing on his laptop with one hand. The good news is, he's gonna live, he injured his left hand and he's right handed, and doc's are so good anymore. I am sure they will be able to mend my little guy, it will just take time.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Normally, Just A Stick In The Mud...

Oh, I too, hate change. I mean, I will change if I have to, but even with things like dining out, I order pretty much the very same thing at most every restaurant I go to.

The truth of the matter is, I've been thinking about dumping AOL for a long, long time. They were very comfy, but enough is enough...

Recently, AOL developed this AIM program to do everything we were paying for, for free! This was pretty much a slap in the face. I've been paying good, hard earned, money for what they're now giving away for free! And now, this ad banner on our paid journals! It's the straw breaking this camel's back.

I've been with AOL forever... since 1994, back when I had to pay by the minute, plus long distant phone fees! I had tried them all, way back then, and AOL was the most user friendly program, in my opinion. I've made lots of friends, met lots of online people in person, and heck, I met MY GUY on AOL in January 1997! I will miss AOL...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Hoppin' the Fence...

Well, I'm here. I'm hoping I can save my previous AOL blog. I think this blog will be easier to work with, and it's FREE! No ads floating around my Journal. I hope to see many of my online friends visit here.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

All The Leaves Are Gone

All the leaves have blown away and it's starting to look alot like winter around here. I do have a few roses trying to beat out winter temperatures, but I'm sure they will not last long. It's just 41 degrees out now, at about 1pm MST. I've been freezing for a week now. The sun is trying to make it's presence here today, so maybe we'll warm up some. Gramma was discharged from my facility Thursday, and doing excellent. I visited her before leaving work to go home Wednesday, and it was everything I could do to fight back tears... I found her in our Activities room, full of smiles, in the middle of singing songs along with the guitar player who comes to play once a week. She loves to sing. The day before, I found her playing bingo, reaching across the large bingo cards to mark the numbers called. A week ago, she couldn't even get out of bed, let alone recognize me. She's doing so well. Thursday, Gramma was transferred to yet another Rehab Center now, in hopes of getting well enough to go back to Assisted Living. That's a BIG hope, one we know may not happen, but it is a goal. This bout of too much pain meds about killed her, really taking a toll on her. What a month's it's been for her.

My daughter came to town! I was so happy to see her! I worked until I heard she was here, then arranged to pick her up downtown so we could meet up with my parents for dinner. My daughter's favorite restaurant in Boise is The Olive Garden. My parents picked up my son, and we all met at the restaurant for a wonderful dinner and visit together. After dinner, my son and I joined my daughter and her band for a night of heavy metal sounds downtown. The band consists of five guys and my daughter. She plays the guitar. After the show, most of the band stayed here at the house.

The next morning we visited and took some photos before they took off for their next show in Denver, Colorado. They would be stopping that night in Salt Lake City,Utah, at another band member's family home. Now, everyone grab a dog and smile pretty! These kids are so sweet, I don't know why they have to look so tough! We got up early that morning so my daughter could visit with Gramma for a few minutes before she left. When we left the house, the guys were still sleeping. Gramma was tickled to see her. It was so good to see my daughter. Inbetween all our quick visits with family, my daughter and I had a chance for a deep talk about relationships and family. I believe we came to an understanding of eachother's feelings, something that has been totally untouchable for a year now. I also shared with her, our plans (me and my guy's plans) for Christmas. She was the last of my family I needed to tell.

My son... I love him with all my heart and want the best I can give him. I believe all parents feel the same. (I find it amazing how much love us moms have, always enough for all our kids!) I mentioned before he was in a bad place, a bit of emotional turmoil. He is working through his feelings and doing much better. When a 16 year old knows everything, a mom can only do so much. In the past year or more, I have tried to talk with my son about dropping out of all his sports, letting all his male friends go, no longer playing drums with his band, and being so involved with one girl. This girl has been his whole life for almost two years. She is a very smart, very nice girl. But, they are too young for such a devoted relationship. And when they broke up last week, he took it so very hard. He doesn't have the support group of friends and activities to help him through such emotions of the heart. The good thing is he felt safe in talking with me and talked with me about everything. I shared with him the one thing I've learned in and about relationships; you can never lose yourself, you need to keep involved in what you love to do and the relationship should be the icing on your cake. This week he's gotten back together with his band. I'm hoping in the spring he'll try to get back into baseball... he's so good at baseball.

My guy is still out on this special assignment with his company. We're hoping he will be home next weekend. He will have been out for about four weeks by then. This job was supposed to be just regional routes, home most every weekend. That was a year and a half ago, and now, for understandable reasons (hurricanes, special contracts, etc.), the company has taken him out longer. I'll be glad when he's back on the regional track and home more often.Peanut, Molly & Rodney... aren't they cute! This weekend was doggie wash weekend at our house. All but Ozzy, he's out on the truck with my guy. I take all the dogs into a shop for professional grooming about every eight weeks. This time, the shop being in the Holiday mode already, the dogs came home smelling like Grandma's Sugar Cookies! They smell so good. But, sugar cookies? Believe it or not, the scent isn't bad. LOL In this photo, only Molly had already made it to her appointment, the boys didn't go until today.

So, life is good... My guy's coming home soon. My son is doing better. Gramma's doing great. My mom has finished all her chemo and radiation treatments. My dad, well, he's been good all year. And, I had a wonderful visit with my daughter!

Now, about those Christmas plans... I've finally told all my family I will not be home for Christmas this year. This year, my guy and I are taking a Christmas cruise to Mexico! Just us. We're so excited! We did ask my son if he'd like to go, but he'd rather stay home. At almost 17 years old, I do not believe he should have to go if he doesn't want to. My daughter will be home with him, and together, they will watch the dogs. My brother and his family will also be here for Christmas, staying with my parents. My kids will spend the holiday with my parents. So, it's just me and my guy, cruising to Mexico! Did I tell you how excited we are?

Monday, November 07, 2005

Quick Update

This photo from my archives was taken last December. With all the storms we've had the past few days, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between today and last year, (unless you peeked at the signature stamp on the photo.) This is Bogus Basin high above Boise.

I hadn't seen Gramma since she was admitted to my facility on Friday. My biggest fear with her admitting to my facility in the condition she was in, was that she may die here. This is where I work, she couldn't die here. I don't think I could handle that. I didn't visit her this weekend as she was so out of it, she slept most the weekend and wouldn't even know we were there. I thought it best to let her rest the weekend. I knew I would be popping in to see her throughout the day, each day during the week because I worked there.

I saw Gramma, first thing this morning. Oh my gosh! Gramma was a different person! She was up and eating breakfast with the other patients, she recognized me right off. She looked so much better than when she was admitted on Friday. I made a few visits during the day, and spent quite awhile with her this evening before I went home. Gramma was asking me about things she did and saw the last couple of weeks. I told her none of the scary events she saw or heard had happened. All she said was, "Boy!" She couldn't believe it, everything seemed so real to her. I assured her none of it happened.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Hanging In There


Boise State Broncos have done it again! Last week, BSU played against University of Nevada Reno, winning by a long shot, 49 to 14. Yesterday, they hosted New Mexico State and left them in the dust early on. New Mexico never did catch up, and the game ended with a 56 to 6 BSU win. Next week BSU will play Fresno State at Fresno, California.

The photo above was a mirror image of the skies above Boise yesterday. The clouds hung around and by evening the wind picked up as a new storm rolled in. It's been raining since. Earlier this week, we received our first dusting of snow in the mountains here. Since then, some of the ski resorts have received a good foot of snow, as we've had a couple of storms come through. With this new storm last night and today, the resorts are expecting another 6 to 8 inches of new snow. We will receive rain here in the valley.

My guy has been on special assignment and not home for two weeks, and will not be home for another two weeks. He sent me a little ditty via email last night that made me smile. I could feel his hugs.

My daughter will be in town this week. Her new band has been touring the country and they will be playing in Boise, Wednesday night! I haven't seen her in several months and can't wait to see her. I've asked for the day off work to spend some time with her before she is off to her next stop. I need to let her know my Christmas plans.

My son, he's going through a rough time. It breaks my heart to see him hurting so much. He's just 16 years old, too young to be hurting like he is. He and I talked, and I think he's going to be okay. It takes time to heal, and time seems to stand still when you're in the midst of turmoil. We'll work through this.

Update on Gramma... Wednesday this past week, we had to transport Gramma to the emergency room. She seemed to be declining, she was not doing well. We followed the ambulance to the hospital. Her condition was bad enough to admit her to the hospital. This is her second inpatient stay in a month's time. Friday, after stabilizing her, she was sent by ambulance to a specialty hospital for further care. She seems to be drifting away. I know she still has drugs in her system that are causing some of her symptoms. Some of these drugs may have triggered underlying problems to surface that we were not aware of before. We are hoping she will improve enough to go home.