There's something I haven't told you. It's like, if I don't tell anyone, I won't fail anyone, I couldn't fail myself. Ah... the mind can play such tricks on us.
I believe I'm past all this now. I feel new again, I'm happy with myself, I am proud of my accomplishment, and I can be totally honest with all.
When I booked our cruise, not so long ago, it was on the advice of one of the counselors I work with. Not specifically the cruise, but the idea of not having so much Christmastide in our plans. It was suggested that I go somewhere warm, somewhere less Christmas-like so not to be reminded so much of the traditional Christmases of my past. Christmas at home has always involved big family gatherings with all the best traditional celebrations, decorations, and homemade foods and treats.
Before talking with my co-worker, I was seriously thinking of New York City at Christmas. NYC, for me, would be the ultimate Christmas experience with the Radio City Rockettes, Rockefeller Center, horse drawn carriages, and shopping. It would also be full of Christmastide, something I was just not ready for. So, I booked a short cruise to Ensenada, Mexico. Let's get our feet wet in cruising.
About the same time I booked our cruise, my Mom had just completed her chemo and radiation therapies for breast cancer. You'd think being so sick from all the drugs in her body, she'd lose weight. Well, as it turns out, the drugs that kill cancer make some people gain weight, something my Mom did not need.
As my Mom regained her strength she decided to join Weight Watchers to help lose some weight. I started to follow along with the program from home, to encourage my Mom. Being overweight myself, I know after a few weeks on any weight loss program, it becomes harder to stick with it. So, I really wanted to be encouraging for my Mom, thinking the competition between us would help keep her going.
A few weeks later it dawned on me, I was going on a cruise. I couldn't go on a cruise and gain even more weight! Cruises. Gourmet food. Ack! I had been the heaviest I've ever been. I had even reached a point where I had stopped weighing myself, the numbers were just too scary.
So, this is it... I joined WW too! And just this last Friday, I went to the doc for a regular check-up and was excited to find that I had lost 22 lbs since my last visit in October. I know I lost some weight on my own, before any weight was documented, from that heaviest weight where I stopped weighing myself at home. WW has me down 19.2 lbs from when I started with them in October. From that highest home weight, I've lost a total of 28.2 lbs so far! I'm so excited!
My Mom has since taken a time off from WW over the holidays. She plans on returning soon. She was doing really well, before Christmas she had lost 18 lbs.
Right now, I am on fire with WW, yet I know I have a long way to go. I'm taking baby steps and making little achievable goals. I had worried about the cruise and what might happen. I had lost 23.8 lbs by the time we left on our cruise. I hoped to gain no more than 5 lbs but was sure, with all the food I ate while on the cruise, I would be closer to a 10 lb gain. I was really surprised I gained only 3.8 lbs at my next weigh-in. I seriously ate everything I wanted, I didn't hold back! And then, the following week I lost another 7.4 lbs!
Now that I have made this public knowledge, I plan to post my weight loss/gain each week. It'll be subtle, just a "WW -0.8/-28.2" with the current week's loss/gain before the "/" and the total loss from that highest scary home weight after the "/" at the end of my posting. Posting this will help me be accountable to myself.
Anxiety Dream #870439
1 week ago