New Profile Picture

I always have such a hard time with self portraits. Normally, I'm the one behind the camera so there's not many photos of me. Tonight, I had my hair french braided, looking for a curly look for tomorrow. We'll see how this turns out, lol. I haven't braided hair since my daughter was a young girl.

3 Years Cancer Free

My mom received a PINK medal, like the Olympic medals, from her doctor the other day for being breast cancer free for three years now. There were days of chemo and radiation therapies, hair loss and wigs, so sick she wasn't sure if the treatments were worth it. I'm glad you're here, Mom!

Changes & Updates Abound

Wow! AOL really did it now. I started out with an AOL Journal and was one of the many who moved from J-land when the unwanted banner ads appeared. I have grown to really like the Blogger platform and hope to continue to grow here.

With the current exodus from AOL's J-land and everyone moving to somewhere new, I thought I'd give my own blog a facelift too. I really do like the ease of changing things, personalizing my blog, and hope that everyone who lands here finds it as user friendly as I have.

Also, I realized I haven't posted in a long, long time and I have some catch-up posting to do! My summer was filled with medical issues, and a wonderful week away from home with my family. My son came home from Basic Training and AIT, I met a new family member we never knew existed, and I've lost 30 pounds!

It's Been A Long While

Boy! Where does the time go!?

I am home from work today, for the next few days for some well deserved PTO time! I am sitting here contemplating the work I need to do before my daughter arrives this evening. Yes! My daughter is coming for a visit for several days! I'm so excited to see her!

I have to say, my guy has done the most wonderful favor for me... he's taken all seven, yes I said seven, dogs with him on this run so that I can be dog-less for the week with my family. I cannot thank him enough!!!

June 23, 2008

Home from my son's Basic Training Graduation at Ft. Sill, Oklahoma. It was so, so good to see him. It was so hard to leave him there.

The first thing I noticed was how white his teeth are. When I mentioned his teeth, he said, "Yeah, I brush them at least three times a day now." Wow, I thought.

The second thing I noticed was his voice has seemed to change. It's deeper than it was when he left home in April. Must be all those cadences during marches on the base.

The last thing took a little longer to realize, that was just how nice he was, how polite he was. He's turned into a perfect gentleman.

His girlfriend came with me, and we had a wonderful visit. We left the house at 6am for our 7am flight. We arrived in Oklahoma City around lunch time, 12:30pm. Fort Sill was an hours' drive southwest of Oklahoma City on I-44.

We stayed through Saturday afternoon, longer than most of the families. Most of the soldiers shipped out to their next stop the morning following graduation. My son was one of six who were not leaving until Sunday a.m.

That gave us a whole'nother day with our soldier! Here's a couple of pics...

Graduation day, June 20, 2008 with girlfriend.

Son and proud mom!

Mother's Day

I know it's late but I wanted to wish all the mother's out here in Blog/Journal-land...

Happy Mother's Day!

I've been working four ten hours days since last July, and the days of my week now seem to run together. But, I wouldn't trade it back to working five days a week!

Last Friday, the Friday before Mother's Day, I received my first correspondence from my son.

He's been gone since April 9th, gone to Ft. Sill, Oklahoma, for Army National Guard boot camp. When he left, he was carrying a pretty large chip on his shoulders and asked me not to contact him. He didn't care if I was his mom. He didn't want to hear from me by phone, text messaging, or letters.

When his girlfriend received his address, I asked if I could have it. "Of course," she said, and I promptly sent his address to all our family. I also found a card that really reminded me of my son when he was about 10 years old. I decided to send it. Positive thoughts written in my hand filled the blank inside. I signed, "Love You, Mom."

Now, back to the Friday before Mother's Day. I was able to get the mail as soon as it was delivered Friday. As I thumbed through the stack of mail, I found a letter size envelope. No returned address. Postmark from Oklahoma City, OK.

It was from my son! I was so excited! Once inside the house, I opened his letter only to find the card I'd sent him, ripped to shreds. No other note, other than the pieced together words "Return to Sender!" across the front of my original envelope, now shredded in my hands. My heart sunk, I think it even missed a few beats. I was crushed.

Styx sings a song... it goes something like this... "...why must you be an angry young man... your future looks quite bright to me..." Boy! Talk about sting. Oh, that was Styx! lol

The next day, Saturday, I received a beautiful, fragrant bouquet of roses from my daughter. Her card said, "Thanks for being a wonderful Mom." The flowers were beautiful. I thanked her right away, and had a good visit with her over the phone. (She's in Los Angeles.)

That afternoon, I took my parents out for dinner. My dad wouldn't let me pay. Dinner was good and we had a nice visit too. They gave me a hanging planter full of spring flowers for my patio.

Sunday, Mother's Day, I really never gave any more thought to hearing from kids. I had a great visit with my daughter over the phone. I received my son's message, loud and clear. I expected nothing more of my day. My guy was home and he treated me all day long! Thank you, Buddy.

Then, before lunch, I checked my cell phone as I have an ad in the paper for my puppies... and OMG!!! I received a text from my son. It was a nice text message, so nice I thought maybe his girlfriend sent it for him. I called his cell... it rang, and rang again, and he answered! I think we were both in shock! I had called from another number that he wasn't aware of, and totally expected his girlfriend to answer.

We talked for just a couple of minutes. He was very nice, not sarcastic like he had been before he left. I just wanted to reach through that phone and give him a great big hug!!! We talked about graduation dates and I told him I'd like to be there. He agreed. I told him I loved him, he said he loved me too, and our call was over.

I think this has been my best Mother's Day so far!

Anyone For A Puppy Fix?

The photos with single pups are Lucy's two females, 7 weeks old tomorrow. The others with two pups are Molly's two males, 5 weeks old yesterday. I've got a houseful of puppies right now, six in all. Lucy had four puppies in February, and Molly had two puppies in March. Fun, fun, fun!

Spring Has Sprung

It was gorgeous this weekend! Today was overcast but in the mid 70's. I was definitely under the weather! I stayed home from work, something I rarely do unscheduled. There was no way I could function at work with this monster of a cold I've caught. I worked from home the best I could.

The photo above was taken in my backyard yesterday afternoon. Today the tree, a Thunderclould Flowering Cherry tree, has almost completely bloomed. Beautiful.

Hmm... a time for new beginnings.

I made it all winter without catching a cold, but it's finally found me. I woke up yesterday with that sinus tingling, overall heaviness feeling, and this morning, I've definitely got it. ARGH!!! I know the exact moment I was exposed and didn't have cover. I wish people would cover their faces when they are sick and have to cough or sneeze. I was given this bug, directly from a sneeze. The remenents of which I had no choice but to walk through. There was no avoiding it. GROSS, but true. 24 hours later, I've got it. I hate colds!

A Bit Out Of Focus

Took this photo too quick, not paying attention to it's focus...

It's the first weekend this year where we'll have temps close to, if not in the 70's! It's gorgeous out! I caught a glimpse of a neighbor boy and his dog this morning, and before I could get another shot, they were gone. That's a 6 foot fence at the bottom of the photo, and they are sitting on the roof of their shed. Cute! Boys and their dogs.

I'm Numb, So Much to Handle

A week ago today, I took my lunch break at the nursing home where my Gramma was dying. My parents had been with her all morning. They needed a break so I brought some sandwiches for lunch.

I met my dad in the parking lot. He was taking the minister who prayed over my Gramma, back to the church. He would be back soon.

I remember when I was in the hallway, just outside Gramma's room, I could hear my mom. My mom was letting Gramma know she was there, "I'm here mom, I'm right here." Gramma did not want to die alone.

There was a nicely decorated cart of coffee, tea and water, and snacks for us aside the closet. Gramma was at her end. She would not be pulling through this, this time.

My mom was not doing well, she was taking this pretty hard. I would be no different if that was my mom lying there. My mom needed a break and stepped away for a few minutes. I was there, I would be there as long as they needed me.

I stood by Gramma's side, holding her hand and caressing her shoulder. Gramma loved her family, many had gone before her. The room was filled with photos of all her loved ones. Through these photos, we surrounded her, even when we were not there. Gramma was breathing sporadically. Her eyes were winced tight as if she may be in discomfort. The nursing home had given her comfort medications. Though she was not calling out, she still seemed distressed.

As she would catch her breath, I would tell her I was there. Then remembered, Grampa was waiting for her on the other side. I told Gramma it was okay to go, go find Grampa. Find that old fishing pole and go fishing with Grampa. My fondest childhood memories are of them camping and fishing. Then, I remembered her love of the beach! "Gramma, go to the beach, go, it's okay."

With that, Gramma took her last breath. Her eyes relaxed and she was gone.

Grammas are so special, we love them dearly, and mine was no different. I loved her most dearly, and will miss her!

Today, my son left for Ft. Sill, Oklahoma. Finally. He's been to the final physical and returned home due to his respiratory infection, twice already. Yesterday, he passed and received his flight orders for today. He'll be gone for five months, boot camp and then advanced training, before coming home.

My problem is I haven't seen him since Gramma's service on Friday. And he was very distant with me, avoided my like the plague.

He has issues, left unresolved, and specifically the night before Gramma's service, with his girlfriend not being allowed to miss school. (Long story.) He left me a text message at 6am this morning, not to ever call or text him again. To stay out of his life. (Ouch.)

I deserve to be treated with respect too. There's a song my guy sings a couple of lines of... "...why must you be such an angry young man, ...your future looks quite bright to me..." I will miss him and hope he comes to his senses someday. Love you, Buddy.

Discussing this with my guy late last night, only caused me more drama and heartache. One thing lead to another and before long, we were arguing over my son and my family, and my guy's relationship with them. It's been a long bumpy road, and I do not know we'll make it through this.

My guy left without saying "goodbye" last night. He'll be gone for a week. I'm not sure he'll be coming home again, for anything longer than to pack his things.

So, to Gramma, my son, and my guy....I miss you all.

UPDATE: Later 04.09.08:

My guy phoned to say he loves me.