Friday, November 09, 2007

Growing Pains

Again, thank you. I really appreciate your comments. For the most part, I try to keep things "light" in this venue, staying away from the things that really pull on my heart. Still, I find comfort in the fact that the pages of this blog can actually talk back through your comments when I feel the need to share. I find it comforting to know you're out there!

Thank you, Psychfun, for mentioning that not everyone goes to college, and of those who don't, many do just fine. I do believe one must want to go to college to do well, and if being there only to satisfy a parent's wishes, they probably are not going to do as well. At best, it would be a major struggle to survive the classes.

My guy mentioned to me the other night while I was in the middle of my own chaos, my son's girlfriend is her parents' responsibility and there's nothing more I can do there. It was a moment of, "Ohhh, you're right..." when I heard that. So, I am seeing things a little different today. I am a bit more settled within.

In the end, in all of life's ups and downs, things do seem to work out. And, when mama's happy, everyone's happy.


MariesImages said...

I totally agree with you on College.

Remember that the situation is your responsibility when it comes to your son. It's not just her & the parents allowing this. You have a say in your son's life if he is living with you.
Ü Hang in there~

Becky said...

Well, if it helps, I started college because my parents insisted. I didn't last long. I went one year and lived there. I totally lacked self-dicipline and just wanted to hang out and party. Year 2, I didn't want to go back. But my parents bribed me with the option to commute and get a car. Eventually I just stopped going to class. Essentially, I dropped out without telling them. I would just hang around campus until it was time to go home. I got a job without them knowing. I saved up my pennies and then announced, one fine day, that I hadn't been to class for 3 months and I was moving out. I'd found a roommate/apartment to share. It was an ugly scene.

Years later, my parents finally admitted that I wasn't ready for school. It didn't help either that they wouldn't allow me to major in the subject that was closest to my heart (art). I worked my way up from temp secretary to mid-level manager in the corporate world. I went back to school on my own, years later. I was quite successful without the degree, but I could have been much more so with it. Turns out I didn't need it, since I gave up my career to be a mom. :-}

My brother dropped out of college before he'd even gone half a year. He joined the military, got medic training and then got a job at a hospital when his tour was over. He's been pretty successful without the degree too.

The key is to find alternate ways for job training. I had typing as a skill I learned in high school and early exposure to computers (thanks to my Dad) and parlayed that into a career. My brother turned his military training into a job on the transplant team (he's the blood guy from the bank).

Sure, it's harder to make it without the degree. If your son is a slacker - really, the military is the BEST place for him. My brother was a different person when he came out. A better one. Skilled, confident, a responsible man. And there are lots of training tracks that lead to non-combat roles too. I know that is a worry in times of war. Just tell him to stick with the Navy and Air Force. Army, Marines and National Guard are all cannon fodder. :-(