Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Difficult Time

Difficult. Why does life have to be so difficult? Is it me?

My eighteen year old son still lives at home, and is very involved with his girlfriend and her family. The girlfriend is almost seventeen. And honestly, I am okay with the two of them, their young and in love. She's a nice girl, I like her.

What's got my blood boiling is her parents allow him to stay the night... even on a school night! I am just going crazy over this! It's not just one time, it's all the time!

He's 18, and legally, I am not responsible for him, but... It's just not RIGHT in my book. And, she's just 16, will be 17 in December. Her parents are much more liberal than I must be, and I thought I was pretty liberal.

OMG! I cannot believe how upset I am over this, it's just not right, and there's nothing I can do about it. She's NOT my daughter, and he's 18 and "can do whatever he wants!" Whatever happened to that " long as you live under my roof..." saying?


Nancy said...

Ooh...that's a tough one. Mostly because there really is NOT anything you can do about it. Just try and keep your relationship good with you son, and the communication open.

Hang in.


Becky said...

Ouch. I don't know what the laws are in your state, but if things turn ugly in their relationship what's to keep that girls parents from pointing fingers and getting your son arrested for statutory rape? They have so much time and life ahead of them. There is no need to rush into a serious relationship like that. I don't know what to tell you. I guess you should befriend his girlfriend and take her into your family. Your son will appreciate it and it will improve your relationship with him. Maybe if they spend more time at YOUR house, you can keep a better eye on the situation. :-)

Psychfun said...

Well, they are allowing it so they can't come after him in a way that would be brought up. If you son is a good son then he will do what is right. They may trust their daughter also. If she is going to be 17 very soon then not a lot you can do. Maybe they sense he is an awesome guy? Hmmm have to think so more...

MariesImages said...

Hey there!!! You know all the problems I have with your blog, well today I decided to copy & paste the top 3 entries, just so I can read them........Ü

On this subject, being I have 3 kids. 2 who still live at home. 1 lives on her own....weeeeeeeeeeell not really. She lives in her boyfriend's family's house in their basement. She is 25 & now, I DON"T HAVE A say.....but , I have told her repeatedly, I was NOT happy with the situation. I did not bring her up to be living with a guy. I know , 25, she's old enough, but this IS NOT right in my eyes. I already told her she is going against wishes. ( I try to make her feel guilty, but it's not working) Maybe you need to sit down with him being he lives with you, & explain how you feel. It is your home & if he wants to play house, it's time to move out. Reality sets in when they have to start paying bills.
This sounds harsh, but you get to a point where you need to have some control & if you don't, then maybe there are choices to make. It's his choice, let him make it.
Just a thought~

Anonymous said...

Hi Cheryl,

I didn't realize you were posting entries again. Oh my, what problems this could cause. I pray that things work out. As a parent I'd never have allowed my daughter expecially at that age have her bf spend the night. I wish I could offer some words of wisdom or comfort. All I can offer are my smpathetic ears.


Kristeena said...

I go back and forth with my daughter about this all the dang time. She can't understand why I won't let her boyfriend stay the night, says I'm old fashioned, I don't trust her and everything else. I guess I'm the odd ball. I can't believe how laid back these parents are. Then they'll blame you or your son for her pregnancy, you watch.

My daughter's boyfriend's parents are also completely cool with her spending the night. NOT. Oh hell-to-the-no.

I just told her when she moves out she can sleep over at his house as much as she wants to.

Here's one parent on your team!

=) kris