Monday, December 27, 2004

Airing My Laundry

This doesn't happen to us, not to my family. Other people have these problems, not us. What the heck is going on!?

I said my 'good byes' to both my kids Christmas Day. Both kids flew out on the same airlines. Both flights were at about the same time, though in different directions. My parents took my kids to the airport.

My daughter flew to her home in Seattle without resolving any issues she has with us. I feel horrible this has happened. I love my kids! I'm so proud of who they are becoming in their adult lives. I feel confused and hurt. My daughter claims she wants to be treated like an adult, yet is allowed by my parents, to keep from seeing or talking to us. Staying away does not resolve anything. She stayed with my parents from Tuesday through Christmas, without seeing me the whole time other than the visit with the deacon. I'm angry at my parents for enabling her in this direction. She wasn't in any great danger, there was no fear for her life. She had an argument with us, that's it. A misunderstanding, a perception and reality never intended the way it was received. Apologies were given, and it seems, not accepted.

Christmas Day, before she left for Seattle, my guy and I drove to my parents house. I wanted to see my daughter. I wanted to give her a couple of gifts I had for her, one gift I had made for her before all this happened. My daughter ran and hid in a bedroom when she heard us pull up. My dad, after inviting us into their entry way, insisted she didn't want to see us. We handed him our gifts. My guy went back to our car. It was only when my daughter heard our car door shut and must have thought we had both left, did she come out from hiding and ran right into me. I gave her a huge hug and kiss, and told her I loved her. I asked if she would call me when she got to Seattle, just to let me know she got there okay. She said she'd try. I haven't heard from her.


My son supported his sister and stayed with my parents the same amount of time. He came home at 9 a.m. Christmas morning. I had talked with him Christmas Eve and he agreed to come home at 10 a.m. Christmas Day. So, when my front door opened I thought it was my guy who had just left a few minutes earlier to go get his son. It was my dad and my son, standing in my livingroom. They could have called to let me know they were coming earlier than planned. I wasn't ready, but I was very happy to see my son. My dad left with gifts we had for my parents.

My guy returned with his son shortly after my son's arrival home. We had a nice homemade breakfast, not my usual feast, but nice still. After breakfast we opened our gifts. Time seemed to move so fast, before we knew it, it was noon. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. My son asked me earlier if he could see his girlfriend and her family before leaving for Las Vegas that afternoon. (His dad lives in Las Vegas, my son will be visiting him there for a week.) I told my son, of course, I had no problems with him visiting his girlfriend. His girlfriend would pick him up here and then drop him off at my parents so my parents could take him to the airport when they take my daughter. The girlfriend arrived at our house and waited outside, she didn't come in like she usually does. I gave my son hugs and kisses and told him I loved him, and he was gone. He did call me when he arrived in Las Vegas. I think there's hope for this one.


I haven't spoke with my Mom since the day at the church. I fear I've hurt her with what I had to say to her, my true feelings. When my dad cancelled all our Christmas plans, he made it clear I would need to go through him for anything to do with our family.

Tonight, I am totally alone. My guy has just left for a long haul run to Los Angeles and will end up in Seattle before coming home next week. He teased about stopping by my daughter's to say "hello." I will have this week for soul searching and trying to get this mess worked out somehow. I have called my daughter a couple of times since she returned to Seattle. She hasn't responded. Now, I will leave it in her hands to get in touch with me. My son will return from Las Vegas on Friday. We will spend the New Year together, alone. Funny, I work at a mental hospital with all sorts of "free" counseling! I think I need some!

4 comments:

hope4meeeee said...

HELLO SWEETIE...
AS I READ UR ENTRY TEARS WERE FILLING MY EYES ...SEE IM IN THE SAME FIELD YOU ARE IN BUT REVERSED...MY MOM IS UR DAUGHTER...IT HURTS SOOOO BAD TO KNOW U HAVE TRYED ALL U CAN AND NOTHING HELPS ...SEE I HAVENT SEEN OR HEARD FROM MY MOM IN OVER 2 YEARS THIS XMAS.....SHE MOVED , CHANGED HER PHONE #....THE LAST WORDS OUT OF MY MOMS MOUTH WAS QUOTE"""""" YOUR ARE NOT MY F****** DAUGHTER AND HUNG UP ON ME NO WORDS SINCE...I KNOW SHE LIVES ABOUT 45 MIN FROM ME DONT KNOW EXACTLY LOCATION
BUT SEE CHOOSES NOT FOR ME TO BE IN HER LIFE AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL
Comment from hope4meeeee - 12/28/04 2:41 AM

sonya said...

I am so sad that you are having to go through all this. My heart goes out to you as I know you are hurting. I will pray that this will be resolved and that your family will be stronger because of it.
Sonya
Comment from bookncoffee - 12/28/04 7:40 PM

susan said...

I'm so sorry you are hurting so much over this. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers, also. I don't want to seem like I'm taking sides, but it seems like your daughter is being kind of tough on you. I hope she can find it in her to soften her heart where you are concerned. Take care and hang in there.
Susan
Comment from dakotarose2852 - 12/29/04 8:04 PM

mosie1944 said...

Holidays seem to bring out the worst in family tensions. It'll get better, most likely.
Comment from mosie1944 - 12/30/04 4:52 AM